My heart sinks down (erectile dysfunction or impotency)

Every time my mother forces me to marry or speaks to someone about finding a suitable girl for me, an electric shock passes through my nerves.

“You are good for nothing, can talk only….” my girlfriend’s such words still haunt me after 2 years.

I am not very frank with my parents & the problem I am having is very embarrassing to discuss with anyone.

Once I tried to discuss with my friend, but he didn’t take it very seriously infact spoke to other friends about it. Since then, they all have begun calling me “Shikhandi”. I feel shy consulting to a sexologist about it.

I have read in magazines, news papers how brutally brides dump grooms like me when they come to know about this on the very first night.

Earlier, I didn’t have this problem but on last to last valentines day when we were about to make love very first time , I dropped the erection all of a sudden which repeated for next four to five occasions consecutively , ultimately led my girl friend to dump me off.

I am very afraid after reading so many stories about it in magazines, news papers & all. If it had happened after my marriage then whole world would have got this news & laughed at me.

I am scared they will send me in to an ‘Eunuch’s group”.

I don’t want to be one of them. I am not them. Society pressure, family pressure is breaking my nerves, I am losing at very front, get abused by my boss every other day for my apathy towards work.

The fear of being exposed intimidates me very much, if she informed to any eunuch group they can take me away forcefully anytime, this thought doesn’t let me to sleep even. If door bell rings or some body knocks the door late night ever, my breath stops until I get assured of my safety.

My heart sinks down with this fear. I want to run away from everyone’s eyes where no body recognizes me.